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The Sound of Laughter

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"Am I talking to the mother of Blake Riordan?"

"Yes.This is she."

"What? Hello? I can't hear you. . .Is Blake Riordan your son?"

"He is my son.Yes.What's this about?"

"Ma'am,we are calling from The Robert Memorial Hospital. . .I'm sorry to inform you . . .that your son has met with a motorcycle accident.He has sustained injuries on his skull. . ."

"What? Can you slow down. . .Wait."

"Ma'am.Your son.Blake Riordan. . .has been in a motorcycle accident in the early hours of today.There is a head injury and a dislocation of the jaw. . .He has multiple fractures in his collar bone and his left leg. We have sedated him for now, but he needs to be undergo a surgery as soon as possible."

". . .Blake. . .Robert Memorial. . ."

"What? Ma'am, can you hear me?"

"Yes. . .I just. . ."

"Yes Ma'am. Could you tell me where you are located."

"I..I stay in Detroit"

"Detroit? Ma'am does he have any relatives or uh next of kin near Chicago now."

"No.There's no one.I'll be there by to. . .tonight"

"Okay, sure.And what's your name?"

"Molly.Molly Riordan."

"Okay, yeah.Molly.Got it."

"Wait."

"Anything else?"

"What? Could you tell me how he is? What happened?"

"Ma'am he was under the influence of alcohol.We have stopped the bleeding . . .Ma'am, he's fine for now. But please try to make it here by tomorrow."

". . .I."

"Ma'am I'm sorry.I have to go now."

Click.

I stood still.I couldn't process my thoughts.I didn't put the phone down.Though I had just heard the receiver click at the other end, I needed to hear more.I moved the curtains and watched the backyard through the window.I didn't cry.Instead my face turned stiff.I placed my phone on the dresser and turned around to open my cupboard.I took out a scuffed dark blue bag and started to place my clothes neatly inside. After I zipped the bag shut, I took my phone and scrolled through my contacts.I lifted my thumb and was about to make the call.I looked at the backyard and then looked at the phone again.I shook my head, threw the phone on the bed and left to take a shower.

I got dressed quickly.I hadn't looked at myself in the mirror for a while. I noticed the thin wavy red lines of the nerves of my puffy eyes and imagined those thin streams of blood on the road which would have flowed from my son. I opened my dresser drawer and took out some papers.They looked crumpled but were still readable.They were letters.Lots of letters.I rifled through them,selected some and set them aside.I put the rest back and locked the drawer.

In a couple of hours, I was on a bus, which was heading to Chicago.I closed my eyes and laid back in my seat, clutching my purse which had the letters. I recalled the day I bought Blake his Yamaha TDR-250 and the first time he rode off from our backyard.The aspiring doctor had just finished high school and I was so proud of the boy, I bought it before the results had come out. I could even remember the conversation during the phone call at the end of his first day in medical school. I opened my purse and slowly pulled out a letter. I moved the curtain by the window aside and found myself basking in the sun.It reminded me of the day I got Blake's first letter in the mail on a much happier Saturday morning.

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________________________

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Dear Ma,

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This is my first letter to you Ma.I don't know why you insist on us writing letters to each other.But I think I'm gonna get better at this.

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I hope you're alright.I'm doing fine. I'm still excited. Anxious at times. Is it weird? I really don't know. It feels pretty good to be here Ma.

 

These first few weeks went by quickly. I'm learning how I can manage my time efficiently. I made a few friends here.Some of them are older. Some are loud. Some are pretty.

 

There's quite a lot to study.But it's interesting Ma.The lecturers come and go. Punctual and certain.Just like each day.

 

I still can't believe my path to becoming a doctor has officially begun.The freshman party is tonight. I think I can get used to this place.

 

Our phone call is the best part of each day Ma.Take care.

 

Blake Riordan.

_________________________

I felt a little better after giving it a read.I had received over 30 letters from him during his time in medical school.These letters were really valuable to me.I feel like every time I read them, he is still in college and talking to me.I had just brought a few with me. Blake was my entire world. After my ex-husband left,I'm all he had and I am still immensely proud of the man he turned out to be. A tear escaped through the side of my left eyelid. I immediately wiped it off. I backed myself to be brave as he needed me to be.

After a while, I slowly pulled out another.I had received this particular letter in my mail somewhere near the end of Blake's fourth year.

_______________________

Dear Ma,

Unlike my other boring letters about college and stuff. This is about something else.

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I met a girl at a party.Her name is Lily.She's about two years younger and a part of the Registered Nurses Program. We went out for a walk after the party. She's amazing Ma. She's smart and funny.She's really pretty too. I try to make her laugh.And sometimes when she laughs she makes this weird sound from her nose. I find it cute. I really can't describe it here, but it makes my day.

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We've been hanging out for a few weeks now and I asked her out in the library yesterday.

And she said yes!!

I know.I can't believe it either.

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I was really nervous about our date tonight but writing this has actually made me feel better.

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Along with this letter is a photograph of us together. She has no idea how beautiful she is.

And I have no idea how she's with me.

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Call me as soon as you get this letter.You will.Obviously.

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Take care Ma.

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Blake Riordan

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P.S: She loves the Yamaha.

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___________________

I remembered reading this letter for the first time. I had felt so many emotions surge in me.I remembered feeling happy, excited and worried all at the same time. It was unsettling. I knew this day would come. As I looked at the photo and memorised her face, I was happy for him as he had found someone to experience that warm and carefree feeling of love. I had experienced it a long time ago but it didn't last. I remembered praying Blake would be smarter than I was in finding that perfect person. But I was mostly worried as I could still see him as my five year old boy who ran around in the backyard wearing nothing but denim trousers.

But Lily really was an amazing girl. She was all he could talk about for the whole year.From what I've heard (and that was a lot), she was really special.I wasn't sure if I should trust my son's judgement but after a while I wanted to meet this beautiful woman who my son thought the world of.

My smile slowly faded as I was about to open the last letter he had ever written to me, a week before graduation.I remember wondering if I could meet Lily during the ceremony, but her aunt had gotten sick so she had to go to London with her family.

____________________________

Dear Ma

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Lily and I were talking the other day and she really wants to meet you.I have never brought a girl home before.To meet you.

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I'm kidding Ma.Calm down.

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Her parents took me out for lunch the other day.I'm not sure if they liked me Ma.They seemed fine on the outside.I don't know.I hope I had misread them. Her Dad is the V.P of the Track Conglomerate Group and her Mum is involved in a lot of charities and stuff.They're pretty rich. Lily doesn't behave like those typical spoilt girls though.In fact she's one of the only people who understands me right now.

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She's perfect Ma.

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We want to make it work even after I graduate.

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Hope you're fine Ma.

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Blake Riordan

___________________________

Shortly after this letter, my son's graduation day arrived. I was so excited. Our greatest dream is going to be realised. I remember sitting up straight in the auditorium, fidgety and eagerly adjusting the camera. But when the moment came, I gave the camera to the person next to me and stood to applaud my child. Watching him walk to the stage when the words "Doctor Blake Riordan" echoed in the hall made me feel so blessed to be a part of his life and when I realised I had helped him achieve his dream, I might have cried a little.

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But joy truly is a fickle thing.

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Shortly after returning from England, Lily ended things with Blake. He was really confused. He begged her to tell him what had happened. But all she kept saying was that she couldn't continue their relationship as her family was against it and that every moment they spent speaking to each other would only make it that much harder to move on. She asked him to never talk to her again. He never gave up on her. He spent many nights, lying on the porch outside the house, staring at the sky with his phone near his chest.Waiting for a call.A text.Anything that made him feel close to her. He took it harder than I thought.A few months later he found out she had graduated but that no one had any idea where she went or what she was up to.She cut ties with everyone she knew. Her friends said that she had plans for further studies abroad.While others said she might be getting engaged.He didn't believe any of it. Blake started his career as a junior doctor in the same hospital he had interned.Last week he had come to visit me.While waving him goodbye when he was on his way back to Chicago, I realised that just like his train which had started to move, Blake had a long way to go.

 

As I slowly reached Chicago, I wished he had realised it too.

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I met the doctors and they told me it's a miracle that he had survived such an accident.They scanned his body and told me that he had to undergo a series of procedures.As I saw them conferring in their white coats, it took me back to that moment when teenage Blake walked up to me in the kitchen one evening and asked how I would feel if she saw me working as a doctor some day. After a couple of hours, one of the doctors said that he wanted to speak to me in private.He said that they were going to perform a procedure on Blake to keep him from spending the better part of his life in a coma.And to do so, they are required to take permission from his family.He tried to explain the details of what they were going to do to ,but as much as I wanted to, I couldn't comprehend most of it.Until he said, ". . .at the end of it all, Mister Blake may not remember any. . .anyone.You.The rest of his family.His friends.Even himself. "

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I was shocked.After what seemed like a full minute I opened my lips to say something but he continued by saying, "Ma'am, I know how you feel. I'm terribly sorry. But it's our best shot Ma'am.Don't you think we'll need to try?" I slowly asked him, "Dr.Richard, do you think if he knew. . .would he understand and forgive me for this?" He stared at me and then turned away to look out of an adjacent window. He then said, "Ma'am, I know what you're taking away from him. But one day, he'll realise. . . why."

Blake underwent all the procedures successfully.He fought valiantly through the pain and was resilient.He didn't wake for 4 months.I took a leave of absence from my work and stayed by his side through the worst time of our lives.I spent a lot of nights just watching him breathe through his mask, hoping for a stir.Something.Strangely enough, I didn't feel lonely.I spoke to him and even read to him.The doctors explained to me that he couldn't hear anything and that if he did, they would have obviously sent someone. But I did it anyway.

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After four months, Blake finally opened his eyes.His head and jaw were still wrapped up in the familiar white dressing.His leg and collarbone had healed.But his jaw was still strapped.He couldn't speak and had fluids given to him through a tube.He was made to sit up and I looked at him,into his eyes, after so long.I left immediately and got dressed.When I came back to the room, I saw the doctors conducting some tests with a light to see how he responded and if he could understand.Then I was told to introduce myself.I slowly walked up to his side.I told him his full name and showed him a photo of himself. Then I told him my full name and that I was his mother.He didn't blink.He wasn't surprised either.He just kept looking at me.Watching me.One of the doctors gave him a mirror and the expression in his eyes became so distraught when he saw what he had become, that I gently took it from his hands and replaced it with a happy photo of us in front of the Yamaha,the day it had arrived. His eyes lit up and he seemed so happy. My heart jumped when I heard the muffled sound of his voice. But he couldn't smile as yet because the muscles in his jaw hadn't healed completely. He was just really excited.

 

The doctors had to conduct some more tests and they rolled his bed out.I took my purse and left to buy donuts and cake for everyone who had helped us.I really wanted to celebrate.I stepped out of the hospital, looked up at the bright blue sky and took a deep breath. I felt like a prisoner stepping out of a prison for the first time. My zest for life had been found and I wanted to run around screaming with tears in my eyes until someone stops me and gives me a tight hug.

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I came back in a while.With a wide smile, I distributed cake to everyone in the ward.The spirits of the other patients and their family were lifted. I entered Blake's room and I saw him sitting up straight and wide-eyed in his bed.A nurse was standing still by the desk inside the room, reading Blake's information file. She slowly placed a book on the desk. She didn't turn around.She hadn't noticed me. She took a few step back and pulled the chair closer to bed After slowly removing a sparkling ring from her left hand and carefully placing it on the desk, she sat down and opened the book.

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She took a deep breath, opened her book and said, " Hi Blake. I'm Lily . . . We are gonna finish a book together." She looked him in the eye and continued, " You're gonna enjoy this new chapter."

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Somehow I felt he wanted to hear her laugh.

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