" You could drive a little faster, Sara."
"No way. You don't want to show up too early for a date."
"What? Why not?"
"It's complicated."
"What is?"
"Look, Mike. It's better if you meet her there. Okay?"
"I don't understand."
"This is your first date, Mike."
"So?"
"So..."
"Oh god."
"What?"
"You want to see her, don't you? You want to see what she looks like."
"Took you long enough."
"Why?"
"Are you serious?"
"You don't believe that I'm gonna meet a woman for a date?"
"What? No!!"
"I'm kidding. I think it's sweet that you're driving me there, just so that you can check her out."
"I'm not gonna check her out. I'm gonna leave as soon as you sit down with her."
"Can't believe I'm gonna say this...but before you leave, please do."
"Michael!"
"Well, I haven't. I just know what she sounds like."
"Really now?"
"And how she laughs"
"I see."
"And what perfume she uses."
"Michael, stop."
This is the conversation I am currently having with my sister Sara while on the car ride to my first date. I actually thought that she would bring up the blind date irony with a 'love is blind' punchline. But she didn't. Which was weird cause she never lets go of a chance to make fun of my impairment. She doesn't mean any of it, of course.
"I should have just worn my brown jacket instead of this one. How do I look? How's my hair?"
"You look the same."
My palms were sweating and I kept picturing weird scenarios where I say something stupid and she gets offended and leaves. What if I don't realize when she leaves and I sit there and talk to myself. What if pulls the old dine and dash. What if she orders the most expensive dish and...
"Siri, give me the menu for the..."
"Mike. Can you calm down for a bit."
"Why? I am calm. What are you.. I just want to know what their specials are."
"You're going to be there in a few minutes. And we have been there countless times and you order their steak every time. Why would you order something different now?"
"I don't know why I would. But I could."
"Look. It's just a meal with a friend okay? Don't overthink this."
"Not a friend. A date. And I'm not overthinking this. Could you just drive. I don't want to stand her up."
I opened the window and felt a cool breeze gently hit my face, cooling me down a little bit. I wiped my palms on my pants and suddenly felt the car slow down. I could hear the low murmur of the restaurant and I pulled the window down so that I could hear better when my sister stopped the car. She parked slowly and pulled the windows up. She got out of the car, came around and opened my door. "Mike, let's go", she said. I put out my thin white cane and slowly got out of the car. I stood there and I could smell the fragrances coming from the restaurant. I felt Sara adjust the shoulders of my jacket. I wanted to ask her one more time how I looked.
_____________________________________________________________________
We were walking towards the restaurant. I tried to be extra alert by taking smaller steps and checking more vigorously with my cane. I didn't want to trip on the way there. I have been visiting this place for five years and never once have I fallen here. But you never know. Sara walked ahead of me and pushed opened the door. The aroma got stronger and the air was a little colder inside because of the air conditioning. I stopped for a second and breathed in. I walked in and stopped again. Wait. Where is she? Is she here already? How would Sara know where to lead me? She hasn't seen her. How did I not think of this? I started panicking.
"Mike? Is that her?"
"What?"
"She's waving at us"
"Which side? What's she wearing?"
"She looks really good Michael. She is...just wow."
___________________________________________________________________
It was a little quiet at the start. I felt around my side of the table and understood the placements of everything. The plate was a little too close to me and the glass was upturned. The fork was on my left side and the knife was on my right with the sharp side towards the plate. I moved the plate forward and rested my arms on the edge of the table. I felt like she was watching me. Suddenly I heard, "You look nice, Michael."
"Thank you.", I said and continued with a chuckle, "You look good too ...according to my sister."
"Oh."
I felt she said it with a smile. I moved my leg a little and my shoe touched hers. I moved mine back at once and said sorry.
____________________________________________________________________
We got talking and I listened to her so intently. I was so happy that for once, I knew for sure that this beautiful girl was talking to me and no one else. I asked her a few questions about what she said and she seemed to like explaining things to me. Then the food arrived and I felt around the objects of the plate. I was used to this but I had to be extra careful not to bite into something else or make a mess. I moved my steak to the top of the plate and the vegetables to the sides of the plate. But as I was listening to her, the waiter filled a glass with wine for me and I didn't pay attention to where he kept the glass. I knew where my glass of water was. But not my wine. Around halfway through the meal, very slowly I moved my right hand in search of the thin neck of the wine glass. Suddenly she stopped talking. I felt the neck of the glass and lifted it and took a drink. After that I said, "Oh! Was this yours?" And she began laughing.
____________________________________________________________________
As we were walking, I took small steps again but I hit my cane around a little softer. She had asked about Sara and how we grew up and so I was telling her when she held my arm and stopped. I stopped too and all my senses were alert. She pulled my arm and made me face her. She wiped something off my jacket with her napkin. I asked what it was and she said "Sauce." Have I been walking around with sauce on my jacket? "Thanks", I said.
We were passing by an ice cream parlor when she said she could go for some ice cream. I asked for blueberry and she asked for mint chocolate chip. As we walked around a little more with the cones in our hands, I suddenly realized that if I spill blueberry ice cream on my jacket, she would get me a bib for our next date, assuming there is a next date. So I leaned forward a little and held the cone in different angles to minimize dripping. Everything was going fine until she held my arm again and pulled me back. I got so frustrated with myself when she turned me around. We stood still for a moment and before I could say anything, I felt her wet lips kiss my cheek. I was breathless. She ran her hands over my hair and gently pulled me a little closer before kissing my cold ice cream smeared lips. And for a moment, it wasn't cold.
​
Now I will always distinctly remember this ice cream parlor for taking me back to my childhood not cause of any chocolate flavored nostalgia but cause I silently let out my first ever Christmas wish again with one tiny addition: I just want to see...her.